I don't know if you ever get the feeling of being stuck inside yourself! But I do. When that happens it feels like completely agony. And with all this break down in faith I've been going through, processing has been a nightmare, I've felted limited and at the mercy of a confined vocabulary. But every so often, every so often it gets unlocked. Sometime in the last two months one of the pastors at my church prayed for me and used the word "kaleidoscope". Truth: I don't remember anything else he prayed, but I remember that word, because it unlocked a whole new vocabulary that unclogged my soul just a little bit more. I've painted it, talked about it, and now, this morning, this rainy, mild morning I'm going to share a little poem about it, because I can, because I think there's other people out there that get stuck inside themselves. And if you're stuck today, one day, hopefully soon, someone will give you a word, or you will see a picture and you'll find yourself unlocking just a little bit more. But in the mean time, enjoy a little poem:
Kaleidoscope Agony
Kaleidoscope agony
circling, turning, writhing symmetry.
Adjusting, recalibrating: Beholding your glory?
Wonder, entrapment
No sparsity of colour.
Intoxicating, tantalizing: moment of wonder?
Clouds of unknowing, gravity-less roaming.
Uncharted, Ordained?
Holy quiets, blazing thunder.
Kaleidoscoping soul
inviting home my scattered heart.
Holding tight, whispering hope.
Will it eventually be alright?
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